july 09, 2009
There is a process.
share
Nung bata pa kame, my brother and I were playmates.
I'd reign over the girly part of childhood with barbies
and hand-drawn sailormoon paper dolls. My brother, on the other hand, had game consoles and robots.
Beyond the gender gates, we'd go along with patintero, roller blades,
patintero, and.. patintero. Ahaha!
But like any other brother-sister relationship,
hindi mawawala ang away. Ang away namen ay batuhan ng isang chorus ng kantang
"P-A-N-G-E-T" (we'll just use any tune for that.)
From the very start we were taught not to (literally) hurt each other.
As papa would say it, "Walang mananaket. Kung sino ang mauna, sya ang mapapalo."
Pero minsan, sa inis mo talaga di mo mapipigil! At pag may pumatol,
for sure may sumbungang magaganap. For sure may paluan.
Now, here's my favorite part — The "Paluan" Chapter.
First off, defense time!
Each party has a dedicated time on the witness stand.
San nagsimula, ano nangyare, etc. And through our stories,
my father would then weigh everything in and know who's guilty, who's not.
Most of the time, pareho kaming may kasalanan.
Pareho kaming guilty. Pareho kaming mapapalo.
But our father won't just take his belt off and start the spanking session.
He would actually let us choose a belt — and from a wide variety at that!
(Imagine seeing my mom's red 80's belt with a gold buckle.)
After that, it's show time!
In all fairness, ....masaket.
We got what we deserved.
And after the sinturon moments, palitan na ng "Sorry."
Papa would then explain things further. He made sure we understood
what went wrong, what our fault was, and why he had to punish us for it.
In the end, he'd hug us both with his closing line,
"O sige na. Maglaro na kayo."
And that, my friends, makes the stinging pain on our butts slowly go away.
First (para sa nagkasala:)
Through this, I understood that if you mess up,
acknowledging your fault and facing the consequences are two important things
but learning from it is another. If you did something wrong and people got hurt,
you can't simply say sorry (even if you mean it) and return as if you're the prodigal son who was luckily embraced by the amusing wonders of forgiveness. Ipakita mong natuto ka na and that, for me, is the real meaning of "being sorry."
Second (para sa nagawan ng sala:)
Kapag merong taong nakasakit sayo, don't be contented with "Hoy, nagalit ako sayo kase ginawa mo to."
Make them understand why you felt that way. Huwag tayong mag-sorry-han para matapos lang. Let him know how and why your heart was broken into tiny little pieces.
Personally, kapag na-explain ko na sa kanya at alam kong naintindihan nya,
that's the time I can feel I've genuinely forgiven that person.
Just as I've said, it makes the stinging pain on my butt go away.
Kahit ako pa yung na-agrabyado.
You should forgive as the Lord forgives.
But it is your responsibility to let the other person understand his shortcomings.
Walang magsasabi nun sa kanya kundi ikaw lang.
Help him learn. Help him grow.
So, yes, there is a process.
And I'm thankful that through our simple "paluan sessions,"
the genuine way of asking and granting forgiveness was established.
O, ikaw? Anung belt ang gusto mo?
-ma'
There is a process.
share
Nung bata pa kame, my brother and I were playmates.
I'd reign over the girly part of childhood with barbies
and hand-drawn sailormoon paper dolls. My brother, on the other hand, had game consoles and robots.
Beyond the gender gates, we'd go along with patintero, roller blades,
patintero, and.. patintero. Ahaha!
But like any other brother-sister relationship,
hindi mawawala ang away. Ang away namen ay batuhan ng isang chorus ng kantang
"P-A-N-G-E-T" (we'll just use any tune for that.)
From the very start we were taught not to (literally) hurt each other.
As papa would say it, "Walang mananaket. Kung sino ang mauna, sya ang mapapalo."
Pero minsan, sa inis mo talaga di mo mapipigil! At pag may pumatol,
for sure may sumbungang magaganap. For sure may paluan.
Now, here's my favorite part — The "Paluan" Chapter.
First off, defense time!
Each party has a dedicated time on the witness stand.
San nagsimula, ano nangyare, etc. And through our stories,
my father would then weigh everything in and know who's guilty, who's not.
Most of the time, pareho kaming may kasalanan.
Pareho kaming guilty. Pareho kaming mapapalo.
But our father won't just take his belt off and start the spanking session.
He would actually let us choose a belt — and from a wide variety at that!
(Imagine seeing my mom's red 80's belt with a gold buckle.)
After that, it's show time!
In all fairness, ....masaket.
We got what we deserved.
And after the sinturon moments, palitan na ng "Sorry."
Papa would then explain things further. He made sure we understood
what went wrong, what our fault was, and why he had to punish us for it.
In the end, he'd hug us both with his closing line,
"O sige na. Maglaro na kayo."
And that, my friends, makes the stinging pain on our butts slowly go away.
First (para sa nagkasala:)
Through this, I understood that if you mess up,
acknowledging your fault and facing the consequences are two important things
but learning from it is another. If you did something wrong and people got hurt,
you can't simply say sorry (even if you mean it) and return as if you're the prodigal son who was luckily embraced by the amusing wonders of forgiveness. Ipakita mong natuto ka na and that, for me, is the real meaning of "being sorry."
Second (para sa nagawan ng sala:)
Kapag merong taong nakasakit sayo, don't be contented with "Hoy, nagalit ako sayo kase ginawa mo to."
Make them understand why you felt that way. Huwag tayong mag-sorry-han para matapos lang. Let him know how and why your heart was broken into tiny little pieces.
Personally, kapag na-explain ko na sa kanya at alam kong naintindihan nya,
that's the time I can feel I've genuinely forgiven that person.
Just as I've said, it makes the stinging pain on my butt go away.
Kahit ako pa yung na-agrabyado.
You should forgive as the Lord forgives.
But it is your responsibility to let the other person understand his shortcomings.
Walang magsasabi nun sa kanya kundi ikaw lang.
Help him learn. Help him grow.
So, yes, there is a process.
And I'm thankful that through our simple "paluan sessions,"
the genuine way of asking and granting forgiveness was established.
O, ikaw? Anung belt ang gusto mo?
-ma'
